About forty minutes into Mortal Kombat II, Karl Urban does the splits and punches a man in the testicles. It’s the best moment in the film. It will be on social media before the credits finish rolling, which is, I suspect, partially the point, and also partially the problem.
Urban is genuinely funny in this movie. That’s not faint praise it’s actually a specific kind of funny, the kind that requires an actor to commit to self-aware absurdity without tipping into self-parody. His Johnny Cage dispenses pop culture references the way other action heroes dispense one-liners, namedropping Squid Game and Big Trouble in Little China with the energy of a man who suspects no one will take him seriously and has decided to get there first. It works. Then the film asks him to react like a human being with actual emotional stakes, and the gears grind, and you realize the film has written him into a corner it doesn’t know how to exit.
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That’s Mortal Kombat II in miniature. It knows exactly what it is when it’s being what it is. The fight choreography is clean, the gore is committed, and “Get over here” lands on cue because of course it does. These are the moments that justified the film’s existence to whatever room of people greenlit it, and they deliver. Then there are the other ninety minutes.
Somewhere in here is Kitana Adeline Rudolph a princess whose father gets brutally murdered in the opening scene, which is the film’s way of telling you she has a revenge arc. She does have a revenge arc. It surfaces occasionally between action sequences, disappears for long stretches, and by the climax has been so thoroughly buried under plot machinery that you’ve mostly stopped thinking about it. Her bodyguard Jade tells her she thinks of her as a sister. It’s a good line. Nothing follows from it. Tati Gabrielle, who plays Jade, is simply gone from the narrative at a certain point, swallowed by whatever else the film decided needed doing.
This is a 116-minute movie. I kept thinking about that number.
Kano comes back he died in the last film, which the movie acknowledges and then moves past with a shrug and Josh Lawson delivers pop culture references in a different register than Urban, more manic, less controlled. He also delivers the worst line in the film, announcing his return to a scene with: “Somebody order a necromancer?” I wrote it down when I heard it. I’ve read it back several times. It doesn’t improve.
Here’s the thing, though, and it’s what the film’s makers probably don’t want to hear: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, the 1997 sequel to Paul W.S. Anderson’s original, was also indefensible as cinema. It had dragon vs. Hydra Animality finishers. It looked like it cost forty dollars. It was genuinely, sincerely, deliriously committed to its own stupidity in a way that made you feel something if only the specific joy of watching people dare to look completely ridiculous.
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Mortal Kombat II has a bigger budget, better choreographers, and more technically accomplished filmmakers. It is also too hip to be sincere. Every time it approaches genuine feeling or genuine silliness, it puts distance between itself and the moment with a quip or a reference or a knowing wink. It wants the highlight reel without the embarrassment of the full film. It wants fan service without the vulnerability of actually caring.
Karl Urban deserves better material than this. He keeps finding the movie that Mortal Kombat II could have been in the cracks between the movie it settled for being. That split. That punch. That specific grin. Someone should write that guy a better action comedy and stop making him prop up franchises that can’t decide whether they’re too cool to try.
Mortal Kombat II Parents Guide
Mortal Kombat II is rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, language, and some crude content. Verify with current distributor listings.
Violence & intensity: Strong graphic Heavy, stylized gore throughout dismemberment, brutal fatality-style finishing moves, and splatter effects are central to the film’s identity and appeal. A character is brutally murdered in the opening sequence. Fight choreography is frequent and sustained. This is explicitly the film’s primary selling point and is not incidental. Not suitable for children or sensitive viewers.
Language: Moderate–Strong: Strong language consistent with an R-rated action film. Crude humor and innuendo throughout, particularly from the Kano and Johnny Cage characters. No slurs reported. Language is consistent with the franchise’s established tone.
Sexual content / nudity: Mild: No significant sexual content or nudity. Some crude physical humor including a groin-strike played for laughs. Skimpy costumes consistent with the video game source material. Sexual content is not a feature of this film.
Drugs, alcohol & smoking: Minimal: No significant drug, alcohol, or smoking content. The film’s focus is action and combat. Any substance use is incidental.
Themes & context: Action — ages 17+: Revenge, inter-realm warfare, and tournament combat are the primary themes. A father’s murder drives a character’s arc. The tone is action-fantasy with comic relief. Despite the R rating being driven primarily by gore rather than complex mature themes, the graphic violence warrants keeping this away from children and younger teens. Fans of the video game franchise aged 17+ are the intended audience.
Age recommendation: 17 and older: Graphic and sustained bloody violence makes this unsuitable for children and younger teens despite its video game origins. The franchise has a young fanbase, parents should be aware the R rating is earned and not nominal.
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